Feeling a bit down. And actually, I'm feeling a little bit of "what's the point?" in quitting smoking. Sucks. I don't really know where to go from here. I mean, I don't have a major craving for a cigarette right now, but I just feel shitty. I picked up my friend from the airport yesterday, and we had a great day, and then he told me he doesn't really plan on sticking around, or at least he is sort of thinking of being gone for a long time, and that this is sort of what his life is going to be like.
I'm just bummed. Why quit smoking? Not to be melodramatic, but why do we all have this desire to live to be 100? I don't want to live that long. I'd rather go when I'm 75, before shit really hits the fan. I'm 24 right now. I don't want to do more than another 2/3 of life.
Ick. I'm not digging this person that I am right now. Well, maybe working will help. Then I'll go to the gym, and I'm sure that will help. Then a movie with my dad tonight.
I guess quitting smoking is at least getting away from being controlled by something that is killing me. And hey, I suppose that's a pretty big deal.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
2 weeks. and then some.
I'm over the hump. As long as I stay on top of my program, as long as I keep the power of the universe close by (because I couldn't have done this on my own), I can go every day without a cigarette.
Today I'm going to Boston to pick up my friend that I've missed dearly since he's been away, and I'm smoke-free!! I can't wait to NOT smoke with him!
Hooray for freedom!
Today I'm going to Boston to pick up my friend that I've missed dearly since he's been away, and I'm smoke-free!! I can't wait to NOT smoke with him!
Hooray for freedom!
Monday, December 26, 2011
298 hours - almost two weeks
Happy belated holidays, everyone! Somehow, some way, I didn't smoke over Christmas, and I didn't even think about it. How can this be possible?! I have no desire to smoke at all. Yes, occasionally I'll see someone smoking and think, "well, that would be nice." but the same thing happens with booze - actually, yesterday morning I was thinking about how nice it would be to have a glass of wine. I realize that one glass would turn into two bottles pretty quick, and I would be dealing with a pretty serious hangover this morning, which would only result in more drinking. sometimes that knowledge doesn't help the craving, however, just like it doesn't help to know that eating one cookie might turn into the whole box, and then you'll have ruined your diet and have to spend an extra hour at the gym the next day. So i asked the universe for help, and I went for a run. It was the worst run I've done in a long time - it was about 3 miles, which is long for me, and it was right after a big Christmas breakfast of spinach and cheese omelette, sweet bread, fruit salad, and lots of chocolate (hey, it's Christmas, I can have chocolate for breakfast).
Anyway, I got a comment (for the first time, hooray!) from someone who quit on Sunday, and is cooking to keep him/herself busy while staying away from cigarettes. First I want to say CONGRATS, and that any step is a good step. I still don't know how long this will last for me, but all I can focus on is today. I just need to not smoke TODAY, and we'll let tomorrow happen the way it's going to. I'm sending love and encouragement your way if you're trying to smoke - if I can make it two weeks, anyone can.
Finally, after a lot of confusion, frustration, and emotion (all on my part, of course), my boyfriend has made it off the island he was on in Puerto Rico and he will be flying back to Boston on wednesday. i'm so excited to see him - and he either doesn't know that I've quit, or he hasn't said anything because he doesn't want to talk about it if i slip. which might sound unsupportive to some people, but he's quit smoking himself. it's difficult to tell people you're quitting, especially the people you really care about, because there's a pretty significant chance that you'll fail.
My advice? Tell everyone anyway. Be accountable. We can quit smoking - it's the hardest thing to quit in the world, but only the first few days really suck, and then it's OVER. And it's not impossible.
Anyway, I got a comment (for the first time, hooray!) from someone who quit on Sunday, and is cooking to keep him/herself busy while staying away from cigarettes. First I want to say CONGRATS, and that any step is a good step. I still don't know how long this will last for me, but all I can focus on is today. I just need to not smoke TODAY, and we'll let tomorrow happen the way it's going to. I'm sending love and encouragement your way if you're trying to smoke - if I can make it two weeks, anyone can.
Finally, after a lot of confusion, frustration, and emotion (all on my part, of course), my boyfriend has made it off the island he was on in Puerto Rico and he will be flying back to Boston on wednesday. i'm so excited to see him - and he either doesn't know that I've quit, or he hasn't said anything because he doesn't want to talk about it if i slip. which might sound unsupportive to some people, but he's quit smoking himself. it's difficult to tell people you're quitting, especially the people you really care about, because there's a pretty significant chance that you'll fail.
My advice? Tell everyone anyway. Be accountable. We can quit smoking - it's the hardest thing to quit in the world, but only the first few days really suck, and then it's OVER. And it's not impossible.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
206.5 hours, or 1 week, 1 day and 14.5 hours
I can't believe I'm not smoking. It's blowing my mind that I don't think about it obsessively. And I can feel the difference already. I ran 2.5 miles the other day which would usually kill me, and I felt like I could go on forever.
I realized, too, why I'm pushing myself so hard with exercise - it feels like I'm not working hard enough because it isn't KILLING me to do cardio. I've been a smoker since I was 14, which was when I started doing daily, regimented exercise (I rowed on the crew team). So I've never actually known exercise without cigarettes. I mean, yeah, I ran around a lot when I was a kid, but I never paid attention to my breathing then. With cardio, whether it's swimming, running, rowing, using an elliptical, or whatever, you really need to focus on your breathing for endurance. So now it feels like I'm not working hard enough because I'm not wheezing after ten minutes of running - my legs actually get tired before my lungs do!
Oh, and for all those who have heard you cough up all the junk you've been smoking for the last however-many-years - it's not happening to me. Which may or may not be a good thing. I want it all out of my body, mostly because I want the addiction to nicotine to go away. As long as I keep asking my HP to take away my desire to smoke, I do pretty well, but occasionally I have to remind myself that I've come this far, and I don't want to go back now. That third day of not smoking was painful - I don't want to do it again.
Last night I was in a pretty stressful situation where I ran into an ex of mine. He was smoking while talking to me, and I was miserable because of the conversation, the company, and the fact that, more than anything else, it seemed like a cigarette would have made it all easier. But I didn't smoke, and I walked away feeling really good about it. For one thing, I didn't have to stand there with the guy and smoke a whole cigarette with him, lengthening our time together all for the sake of camaraderie in addiction. On top of that, I got to tell that asshole that I was trying to quit, which was a fantastic reminder that I'm in a much better place in life now than I ever have been.
And that's the truth. I'm in a much better place today, right in this moment, than I ever have been in my life. I hope that I can feel the truth and the power in that every once in a while, when I realize that now is all I have.
So wiggle your toes. Where are you? How do you feel? Where is the light around you coming from?
How does it feel to breathe?
I realized, too, why I'm pushing myself so hard with exercise - it feels like I'm not working hard enough because it isn't KILLING me to do cardio. I've been a smoker since I was 14, which was when I started doing daily, regimented exercise (I rowed on the crew team). So I've never actually known exercise without cigarettes. I mean, yeah, I ran around a lot when I was a kid, but I never paid attention to my breathing then. With cardio, whether it's swimming, running, rowing, using an elliptical, or whatever, you really need to focus on your breathing for endurance. So now it feels like I'm not working hard enough because I'm not wheezing after ten minutes of running - my legs actually get tired before my lungs do!
Oh, and for all those who have heard you cough up all the junk you've been smoking for the last however-many-years - it's not happening to me. Which may or may not be a good thing. I want it all out of my body, mostly because I want the addiction to nicotine to go away. As long as I keep asking my HP to take away my desire to smoke, I do pretty well, but occasionally I have to remind myself that I've come this far, and I don't want to go back now. That third day of not smoking was painful - I don't want to do it again.
Last night I was in a pretty stressful situation where I ran into an ex of mine. He was smoking while talking to me, and I was miserable because of the conversation, the company, and the fact that, more than anything else, it seemed like a cigarette would have made it all easier. But I didn't smoke, and I walked away feeling really good about it. For one thing, I didn't have to stand there with the guy and smoke a whole cigarette with him, lengthening our time together all for the sake of camaraderie in addiction. On top of that, I got to tell that asshole that I was trying to quit, which was a fantastic reminder that I'm in a much better place in life now than I ever have been.
And that's the truth. I'm in a much better place today, right in this moment, than I ever have been in my life. I hope that I can feel the truth and the power in that every once in a while, when I realize that now is all I have.
So wiggle your toes. Where are you? How do you feel? Where is the light around you coming from?
How does it feel to breathe?
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
156 hours
It's been a week. A week! I think, more than anything else, I'm blown away by the fact that I said I would do this, and it's happening. I swear on everything I care about, it's not me. I couldn't go five hours without smoking before (four hours, maybe). I sincerely ask for the universe to keep me away from a drink and a smoke every morning, and it fucking works. Seriously?!?! I have been a little bit cranky, but for the most part I've been pretty mellow. It's unbelievable.
Hey guys. Quitting smoking? It's easy.
And because I've been exercising and watching what I eat, I'm actually losing weight instead of gaining. But listen, I know I'm not in the clear. It's only been a week - actually, in 12 hours it will be exactly a week, so hopefully I make it. After the two week mark, I'll feel a little bit better. Every day will be a little bit better. I know that it will take a long time before I don't think about smoking anymore, especially when I see people smoking or when I smell it, but I don't obsess about it anymore! Freedom is getting closer. I hope it sticks this time... ahhh happy thoughts.
Hey guys. Quitting smoking? It's easy.
And because I've been exercising and watching what I eat, I'm actually losing weight instead of gaining. But listen, I know I'm not in the clear. It's only been a week - actually, in 12 hours it will be exactly a week, so hopefully I make it. After the two week mark, I'll feel a little bit better. Every day will be a little bit better. I know that it will take a long time before I don't think about smoking anymore, especially when I see people smoking or when I smell it, but I don't obsess about it anymore! Freedom is getting closer. I hope it sticks this time... ahhh happy thoughts.
Monday, December 19, 2011
134 hours, smoke-free
I think "smoke-free" works on a lot of different levels.
For the past 6 days, I've been free from:
- the smell of cigarettes
- the taste of cigarettes
- spending $8.25 per pack on cigarettes
- standing out in the FREEZING cold, alone, just to smoke a cigarette as fast as I can
- the obsessive question of "when's my next break? who will come with me? where should i go?"
It actually hasn't been that bad! Who would have thought that quitting smoking is not the end of the world? I get on my knees every morning and ask for the desire to smoke to be removed. The difference between quitting smoking and quitting drinking, however, is that I really only ever needed to ask for the desire to drink to be removed once a day. With smoking, sometimes it feels like I need to strengthen my resolve 100 times a day. I have to ask, beg, the universe to take my obsession with cigarettes away. But hey, it works. And seriously, I can go like, two whole hours without thinking about smoking. Two or THREE even. And that isn't even counting sleeping. I'm sleeping better (sort of), by the way, and I haven't gained any (visible) weight yet - I haven't weighed myself since I haven't been home in a while.
I'm still walking/running/gym-ing every day, at least 30 minutes of heavy cardio, plus some lifting and a some calisthenics. I'm also watching what I eat. For example, today I had fat-free plain greek yogurt (140 calories/8 oz) with a half cup of blueberries (35 calories) and a tablespoon of honey (64 calories), for a 239 calorie breakfast. Then I had a 270 calorie lunch (SmartOnes frozen meal - don't judge me, it's finals season, and I'm lazy). I've had a few carrots in between those meals, which is my main between-meal snack. For dinner I'll probably have more of my homemade low calorie tomato soup, which was great. I added some cashews to the mix when I blended all the ingredients together for some protein and creaminess without actually adding any cream. It was delicious, and hearty. I eat it with a side of spinach and a rice cake as a bread replacement. For desert I have a square of dark chocolate. mmmm antioxidants. Overall, a really low-calorie, healthy way to eat.
Let's keep in mind that I only plan on sticking to this diet until I've gone a few months (ahhh can't think that far ahead!!!!) without smoking.
Signing off, smoke free for another ten whole minutes
julie
For the past 6 days, I've been free from:
- the smell of cigarettes
- the taste of cigarettes
- spending $8.25 per pack on cigarettes
- standing out in the FREEZING cold, alone, just to smoke a cigarette as fast as I can
- the obsessive question of "when's my next break? who will come with me? where should i go?"
It actually hasn't been that bad! Who would have thought that quitting smoking is not the end of the world? I get on my knees every morning and ask for the desire to smoke to be removed. The difference between quitting smoking and quitting drinking, however, is that I really only ever needed to ask for the desire to drink to be removed once a day. With smoking, sometimes it feels like I need to strengthen my resolve 100 times a day. I have to ask, beg, the universe to take my obsession with cigarettes away. But hey, it works. And seriously, I can go like, two whole hours without thinking about smoking. Two or THREE even. And that isn't even counting sleeping. I'm sleeping better (sort of), by the way, and I haven't gained any (visible) weight yet - I haven't weighed myself since I haven't been home in a while.
I'm still walking/running/gym-ing every day, at least 30 minutes of heavy cardio, plus some lifting and a some calisthenics. I'm also watching what I eat. For example, today I had fat-free plain greek yogurt (140 calories/8 oz) with a half cup of blueberries (35 calories) and a tablespoon of honey (64 calories), for a 239 calorie breakfast. Then I had a 270 calorie lunch (SmartOnes frozen meal - don't judge me, it's finals season, and I'm lazy). I've had a few carrots in between those meals, which is my main between-meal snack. For dinner I'll probably have more of my homemade low calorie tomato soup, which was great. I added some cashews to the mix when I blended all the ingredients together for some protein and creaminess without actually adding any cream. It was delicious, and hearty. I eat it with a side of spinach and a rice cake as a bread replacement. For desert I have a square of dark chocolate. mmmm antioxidants. Overall, a really low-calorie, healthy way to eat.
Let's keep in mind that I only plan on sticking to this diet until I've gone a few months (ahhh can't think that far ahead!!!!) without smoking.
Signing off, smoke free for another ten whole minutes
julie
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Research on weight gain from qutting smoking
http://quitsmoking.about.com/od/weightgain/a/weightgainquit.htm
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/quit-smoking/AN01437
If you were sitting in the room with me, you would hear my big sigh of relief. And NOT because I read that weight gain from quitting isn't inevitable, but because I'm getting a fucking grip on reality - you can lose weight, you can't lose your lungs. The health benefits from quitting smoking will far outweigh any negative effects from gaining some weight. All this worrying I've been doing is just another way for me to try to control a situation, which I really have no control over. So, once again, this alcoholic has failed to control something and is giving it up to the Universe, for the millionth time today. Glad we've settled that.
Today I went for a walk with Marco the dog and my friend Ray at the state park just outside of town. Marco went swimming, and Ray and I did some running, but she's been sick so we didn't get too far. We did about an hour of walking, though, and I'm going to head to the gym pretty soon to do another 10 minutes of cardio and some lifting. I'm trying not to lift too much because I don't want to build any more muscle - just toning for now. I'm not actually very good at toning - I tend to push myself pretty hard with weights so I end up building quickly. I have to work on lots of reps with small weights to tone!
Then I'm going to head home and make some tomato soup. I'm not much of a chef, so I got this super easy recipe that got good reviews, is vegan and low calorie:
http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=263034
I'm also going to pick up some carrots while I'm at the store to keep me munching on something healthy between meals (translation: so I don't totally lose my mind from deprivation of all things holy, a.k.a. smoking), and some chai tea and honey for after dinner. mmmmm....
I should be working on this paper, and I'm totally not. Distractions!!!
What are we at now? Oh yeah... 88 and a half hours! hooray!
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/quit-smoking/AN01437
If you were sitting in the room with me, you would hear my big sigh of relief. And NOT because I read that weight gain from quitting isn't inevitable, but because I'm getting a fucking grip on reality - you can lose weight, you can't lose your lungs. The health benefits from quitting smoking will far outweigh any negative effects from gaining some weight. All this worrying I've been doing is just another way for me to try to control a situation, which I really have no control over. So, once again, this alcoholic has failed to control something and is giving it up to the Universe, for the millionth time today. Glad we've settled that.
Today I went for a walk with Marco the dog and my friend Ray at the state park just outside of town. Marco went swimming, and Ray and I did some running, but she's been sick so we didn't get too far. We did about an hour of walking, though, and I'm going to head to the gym pretty soon to do another 10 minutes of cardio and some lifting. I'm trying not to lift too much because I don't want to build any more muscle - just toning for now. I'm not actually very good at toning - I tend to push myself pretty hard with weights so I end up building quickly. I have to work on lots of reps with small weights to tone!
Then I'm going to head home and make some tomato soup. I'm not much of a chef, so I got this super easy recipe that got good reviews, is vegan and low calorie:
http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=263034
I'm also going to pick up some carrots while I'm at the store to keep me munching on something healthy between meals (translation: so I don't totally lose my mind from deprivation of all things holy, a.k.a. smoking), and some chai tea and honey for after dinner. mmmmm....
I should be working on this paper, and I'm totally not. Distractions!!!
What are we at now? Oh yeah... 88 and a half hours! hooray!
82 hours, or starting Day 4
Yesterday was close.
I was fine all day (pretty much) until I did some frantic work for someone else - trying to get my boyfriend Kevin's papers in on time while he's in Puerto Rico and my phone is dead is stressful. So, as it turns out, what they say about smoking is true - it relieves stress, so stress is a trigger. Go figure.
Anyway, I was losing my mind. My body felt really weird, like a block of clay, and my mind was playing tricks on me about my weight. I don't want to obsess about the weight-gain thing, so I'm just going to try to accept it. I realize that a lot of my fears about weight gain come from the fact that when I was drinking I was 30lbs heavier than I am now, and I worked really hard to lose that weight. I'm at 128 lbs right now, which is perfectly healthy for me. A friend told me I would gain 5 lbs, bringing me up to 133. I think I can handle that.
So last night. I was stressed out, desperate for a smoke, but determined not to buy any and hey, the universe was looking out for me, so I didn't run into anyone smoking. I think that if I had seen a friend with a smoke or if I had a pack lying around I would have caved. But I didn't. I met up with my dad and we had some dinner - I totally over-indulged because I was fucking crazy angry at the world. But my dad quit smoking about 20 years ago, and he was telling me how awful it was, but that the third day is the absolute worst and it doesn't get any worse so I just had to hang on. I felt so much better after eating, and after describing my relationship with Kevin to my dad -which I'll talk about to anyone who will listen because I'm so amazed how well it's going. At the end of dinner, my dad told me not to smoke no matter what, and reminded me that I just had to make it to my pillow at the end of the night.
Then I met up with some friends for coffee who (miraculously) weren't smoking for some reason, so there was no temptation, even though I still felt a little nuts. Then I went home and slept.
Today I feel great. I can't believe I didn't smoke, but I hope my dad was right about the 3rd day. I don't know if I can take much more than the temptation I had yesterday. I begged the Spirit of the Universe to take away my obsession, and it worked for a little while, but I need to work a thorough 3rd step in this:
Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.
I've made the decision. God (or whatever you want to call it, I say "God" because it's easier, but for me its more like energy) can have this - I don't want to fight it anymore. Sometimes when I'm giving it all up to God I feel like it's a pretty crummy present. Like, "Here you go, Universe. I've messed this up pretty bad, and only now am I deciding to give it back to you. Sorry about that, but you can handle this better than I can. Please hold onto it for me."
Just hold on to smoking for me, just for the next ten minutes.
I was fine all day (pretty much) until I did some frantic work for someone else - trying to get my boyfriend Kevin's papers in on time while he's in Puerto Rico and my phone is dead is stressful. So, as it turns out, what they say about smoking is true - it relieves stress, so stress is a trigger. Go figure.
Anyway, I was losing my mind. My body felt really weird, like a block of clay, and my mind was playing tricks on me about my weight. I don't want to obsess about the weight-gain thing, so I'm just going to try to accept it. I realize that a lot of my fears about weight gain come from the fact that when I was drinking I was 30lbs heavier than I am now, and I worked really hard to lose that weight. I'm at 128 lbs right now, which is perfectly healthy for me. A friend told me I would gain 5 lbs, bringing me up to 133. I think I can handle that.
So last night. I was stressed out, desperate for a smoke, but determined not to buy any and hey, the universe was looking out for me, so I didn't run into anyone smoking. I think that if I had seen a friend with a smoke or if I had a pack lying around I would have caved. But I didn't. I met up with my dad and we had some dinner - I totally over-indulged because I was fucking crazy angry at the world. But my dad quit smoking about 20 years ago, and he was telling me how awful it was, but that the third day is the absolute worst and it doesn't get any worse so I just had to hang on. I felt so much better after eating, and after describing my relationship with Kevin to my dad -which I'll talk about to anyone who will listen because I'm so amazed how well it's going. At the end of dinner, my dad told me not to smoke no matter what, and reminded me that I just had to make it to my pillow at the end of the night.
Then I met up with some friends for coffee who (miraculously) weren't smoking for some reason, so there was no temptation, even though I still felt a little nuts. Then I went home and slept.
Today I feel great. I can't believe I didn't smoke, but I hope my dad was right about the 3rd day. I don't know if I can take much more than the temptation I had yesterday. I begged the Spirit of the Universe to take away my obsession, and it worked for a little while, but I need to work a thorough 3rd step in this:
Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.
I've made the decision. God (or whatever you want to call it, I say "God" because it's easier, but for me its more like energy) can have this - I don't want to fight it anymore. Sometimes when I'm giving it all up to God I feel like it's a pretty crummy present. Like, "Here you go, Universe. I've messed this up pretty bad, and only now am I deciding to give it back to you. Sorry about that, but you can handle this better than I can. Please hold onto it for me."
Just hold on to smoking for me, just for the next ten minutes.
Friday, December 16, 2011
62.5 hours
62.5 hours and my spirituality and serenity is draining fast. I want to tear people to fucking SHREDS right now. I need a run, or some gum, or a fucking baseball bat. I need to pray, or to scream.
Just don't smoke, just don't smoke, just don't smoke.
Just don't smoke, just don't smoke, just don't smoke.
58 Hours
It's been 58 hours since I last smoked, and I feel okay. Is this normal? Is it supposed to get worse? Maybe this 12-step thing is the way to go. Every morning, I get on my knees and ask the Spirit of the Universe (or whatever you want to call it) to remove my desire for a drink, a drug, and a cigarette. Then I beg a little about the cigarette part, letting the world know that I am truly powerless over smoking, that I've been officially humbled by my addiction to cigarettes and that I can't quit without some kind of divine intervention.
I've never been a religious person. I've never been much of a prayer, either, until this whole AA thing. Last night, though, someone gave me a rosary to pray with to help me quit. I've learned in the last year that when I get on my knees and give up everything to the Universe, things flow a little smoother. Everything is easier. I'm no longer fighting anyone or anything - I'm just riding the wave. So right now, with the emotional ups and downs that come with not smoking, all I can do is ride it out. I've read that 2 weeks is the marker - after 2 weeks, I'll be free from the physical compulsion to smoke. But I'm only not smoking today! I can smoke tomorrow if I really, really want to, but just for today, I can't do it.
So. I've saved $8.35. I feel like I've gained about a million pounds, but that's just my mind playing tricks. I've worked out twice, eaten healthy, and worked for two days straight. I haven't smoked. And I've only been agitated sparingly, for a few moments at a time, mostly in traffic.
I've never been a religious person. I've never been much of a prayer, either, until this whole AA thing. Last night, though, someone gave me a rosary to pray with to help me quit. I've learned in the last year that when I get on my knees and give up everything to the Universe, things flow a little smoother. Everything is easier. I'm no longer fighting anyone or anything - I'm just riding the wave. So right now, with the emotional ups and downs that come with not smoking, all I can do is ride it out. I've read that 2 weeks is the marker - after 2 weeks, I'll be free from the physical compulsion to smoke. But I'm only not smoking today! I can smoke tomorrow if I really, really want to, but just for today, I can't do it.
So. I've saved $8.35. I feel like I've gained about a million pounds, but that's just my mind playing tricks. I've worked out twice, eaten healthy, and worked for two days straight. I haven't smoked. And I've only been agitated sparingly, for a few moments at a time, mostly in traffic.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
45 hours since my last cigarette
So I've done a lot of research on this. I've been a smoke for ten years. I've never really been a pack-a-day kind of girl - I'm usually somewhere between 3 and 10 smokes a day.
Hmmm. Let's get real. It's closer to 10, despite what I tell my boyfriend.
So I've read that exercise, drinking lots of water, and snacking on healthy foods will help you quit smoking and stay fit at the same time. Like a lot of us, one of my biggest fears is gaining weight after quitting - vain, I know. But hey, I'm quitting for vanity's sake too. So I just went for a run, and I had carrots and cukes for a snack today. I've had a lot of water, and a lot of coffee, and I've been staying busy.
I still want to smoke. And hey, of course I want to smoke - it's addictive. There's nothing I'm going to be able to do about it. My answer for that? Ask the universe to spare some of her vast energy to take away my desire to smoke for the next few hours, until my head hits the pillow.
If all else fails tonight, CHOCOLATE.
Hmmm. Let's get real. It's closer to 10, despite what I tell my boyfriend.
So I've read that exercise, drinking lots of water, and snacking on healthy foods will help you quit smoking and stay fit at the same time. Like a lot of us, one of my biggest fears is gaining weight after quitting - vain, I know. But hey, I'm quitting for vanity's sake too. So I just went for a run, and I had carrots and cukes for a snack today. I've had a lot of water, and a lot of coffee, and I've been staying busy.
I still want to smoke. And hey, of course I want to smoke - it's addictive. There's nothing I'm going to be able to do about it. My answer for that? Ask the universe to spare some of her vast energy to take away my desire to smoke for the next few hours, until my head hits the pillow.
If all else fails tonight, CHOCOLATE.
Greetings from the Non-smoking section
Okay. So it's day 2 without a cigarette, and I'm feeling pretty good.
I've been trying to quit for years. I've tried the patch, self-help books, and that ridiculous pill that gives you terrifying nightmares and makes you crazy. None of them worked, or none of them lasted long. Now I'm going to try something different: I'm quitting cold turkey, and using a twelve-step program to stop.
My name is Julie, and I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober for one year and eleven days, I've been through the steps, I sponsor women, and I'm happy, young, and free from alcohol. Now, I'd like to be free from smoking. The weird thing is, it's not the health concerns. I mean yeah, it grosses me out to think about what I'm really breathing into my lungs, but it has never worked as a motivation to get me to quit. It's not the money either - even though cigarettes cost $8/pack now. It's not the smell, the taste, the inconvenience of going out in the freezing cold, the feeling of isolation when no one else in the room smokes... It's not any of those things.
I want to quit because I'm being controlled by something. Every few hours, I tell myself that I want a cigarette. If I really think about it though, think about the way cigarettes taste, about how I feel once I've finished smoking, how my hair smells - I realize that I don't really WANT a cigarette, but that there is a little voice in my head that speaks for my addiction and tells me I NEED one.
Well, I'm tired of needing one. So, just for today, just for one hour, or even just for the next ten minutes, I'm not going to smoke.
I've decided to keep a blog so that maybe other people with experience quitting, or people who have a desire to quit, can join in an we can all get through this together.
Here we go. Day 2, and the ice doesn't feel too thin yet.
I've been trying to quit for years. I've tried the patch, self-help books, and that ridiculous pill that gives you terrifying nightmares and makes you crazy. None of them worked, or none of them lasted long. Now I'm going to try something different: I'm quitting cold turkey, and using a twelve-step program to stop.
My name is Julie, and I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober for one year and eleven days, I've been through the steps, I sponsor women, and I'm happy, young, and free from alcohol. Now, I'd like to be free from smoking. The weird thing is, it's not the health concerns. I mean yeah, it grosses me out to think about what I'm really breathing into my lungs, but it has never worked as a motivation to get me to quit. It's not the money either - even though cigarettes cost $8/pack now. It's not the smell, the taste, the inconvenience of going out in the freezing cold, the feeling of isolation when no one else in the room smokes... It's not any of those things.
I want to quit because I'm being controlled by something. Every few hours, I tell myself that I want a cigarette. If I really think about it though, think about the way cigarettes taste, about how I feel once I've finished smoking, how my hair smells - I realize that I don't really WANT a cigarette, but that there is a little voice in my head that speaks for my addiction and tells me I NEED one.
Well, I'm tired of needing one. So, just for today, just for one hour, or even just for the next ten minutes, I'm not going to smoke.
I've decided to keep a blog so that maybe other people with experience quitting, or people who have a desire to quit, can join in an we can all get through this together.
Here we go. Day 2, and the ice doesn't feel too thin yet.
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