Okay. So it's day 2 without a cigarette, and I'm feeling pretty good.
I've been trying to quit for years. I've tried the patch, self-help books, and that ridiculous pill that gives you terrifying nightmares and makes you crazy. None of them worked, or none of them lasted long. Now I'm going to try something different: I'm quitting cold turkey, and using a twelve-step program to stop.
My name is Julie, and I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober for one year and eleven days, I've been through the steps, I sponsor women, and I'm happy, young, and free from alcohol. Now, I'd like to be free from smoking. The weird thing is, it's not the health concerns. I mean yeah, it grosses me out to think about what I'm really breathing into my lungs, but it has never worked as a motivation to get me to quit. It's not the money either - even though cigarettes cost $8/pack now. It's not the smell, the taste, the inconvenience of going out in the freezing cold, the feeling of isolation when no one else in the room smokes... It's not any of those things.
I want to quit because I'm being controlled by something. Every few hours, I tell myself that I want a cigarette. If I really think about it though, think about the way cigarettes taste, about how I feel once I've finished smoking, how my hair smells - I realize that I don't really WANT a cigarette, but that there is a little voice in my head that speaks for my addiction and tells me I NEED one.
Well, I'm tired of needing one. So, just for today, just for one hour, or even just for the next ten minutes, I'm not going to smoke.
I've decided to keep a blog so that maybe other people with experience quitting, or people who have a desire to quit, can join in an we can all get through this together.
Here we go. Day 2, and the ice doesn't feel too thin yet.
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