58 Hours

It's been 58 hours since I last smoked, and I feel okay. Is this normal? Is it supposed to get worse? Maybe this 12-step thing is the way to go. Every morning, I get on my knees and ask the Spirit of the Universe (or whatever you want to call it) to remove my desire for a drink, a drug, and a cigarette. Then I beg a little about the cigarette part, letting the world know that I am truly powerless over smoking, that I've been officially humbled by my addiction to cigarettes and that I can't quit without some kind of divine intervention.

I've never been a religious person. I've never been much of a prayer, either, until this whole AA thing. Last night, though, someone gave me a rosary to pray with to help me quit. I've learned in the last year that when I get on my knees and give up everything to the Universe, things flow a little smoother. Everything is easier. I'm no longer fighting anyone or anything - I'm just riding the wave. So right now, with the emotional ups and downs that come with not smoking, all I can do is ride it out. I've read that 2 weeks is the marker - after 2 weeks, I'll be free from the physical compulsion to smoke. But I'm only not smoking today! I can smoke tomorrow if I really, really want to, but just for today, I can't do it.

So. I've saved $8.35. I feel like I've gained about a million pounds, but that's just my mind playing tricks. I've worked out twice, eaten healthy, and worked for two days straight. I haven't smoked. And I've only been agitated sparingly, for a few moments at a time, mostly in traffic.